The past week-and-a-half of my life has been the busiest ever. To all of you out there who work full time and train hard everyday, massive kudos to you! For me, the adjustment to working and training has been a bit more difficult than I first anticipated. It already seems like a year has gone by since I finished my 1500 at NCAAs. Since that moment I ran a quick cooldown, watched the rest of the races, headed to the hotel, hopped on a plane to Alabama, sat on a runway for three hours because the plane broke, headed to Tallahassee, grabbed my bags, flew to Atlanta, and finally to Portland Oregon and the Nike World Headquarters where I will be interning for the remainder of the summer!
Now, a few months ago our team posed in front of a Dunkin Donuts sign to take a picture and label it,
This team runs on Dunkin.” Well it may not necessarily be Dunkin, but coffee has certainly become my new best friend and has kept me running for the last week or two. So far my experience at Nike and in Beaverton and Portland has been amazing. If you’ve never been to Nike’s WHQ, just picture a college campus, specifically catered toward athletics. As far as training, I’ve found everything I need here from gyms to track to massage. As far as work, I’m interning with Global Women’s Training Apparel, so its extremely exciting to get to see all of Nike’s new apparel and learn how it goes from design to market.
With so many amazing things going on in my life in just a two week span, I must admit it hasn’t been easy finding the time to blog, get a good night sleep, and worst of all, spend as much time in the word or in prayer. However, today I decided I needed to take action. I may be “busy as a beaver in Beaverton” but that’s no excuse. Everyone’s busy, the world won’t just stop turning because I have a lot on my to-do list. And so, here I am, writing when I should be sleeping (perhaps a bit too much caffeine today could be cause of this) but I’m here to share with you a few of my thoughts that have been running through my mind and trying to keep everyone updated with my new and busy summer life.
As I said before, it may not seem like a big deal that I’m working eight to ten hours and training, but to me its a massive shock to the system. Going into NCAA’s I was basically doing the “Eat, Run, Eat, Sleep, Eat, Run, Eat Sleep…” Literally, that and a few trips to Atomic coffee, a bit of pleasure reading and art and otherwise just living a life similar to that of a Pro. I can at least be thankful I finished my spring semester so early, but that being said, I was certainly not accustom to the kind of schedule I am now living by. So, here I am, working for Nike, training for the Olympic Trials, and basically living the dream right? Going into today’s workout however, this was not quite the attitude I had in mind. Lately so many things have been buzzing through my mind, but the main one being a lingering question, “Will it really happen, can you really do this?” The “it” of course being me, running the trials, the first big step to a life-long dream really happening. Yet, I stare at the list on my computer screen and count over and over: “29..30…31..32” Yes, they take 30 girls in the 1500m next week, and as of now I sit at 32nd.
Its both a wonderful and horrible place to be in. On one hand, I know I’ve done all I could. I’ve run my hardest all year, not just sat in the pack but pushed several races, and I have absolutely no control over who races, scratches, or what time’s the other girls have run. On the other hand however, I keep hearing voices in my head telling me that it’s not going to happen, that I should give up, that when your body feels exhausted from a four mile run and you get passed by high-school kids, its time to just quit.
It’s not easy doing track workouts without your coach and team for the first time. It’s not easy being thrown into a different schedule and not having a chiropractor, quad flush, ice bath and all those other luxuries right at your service whenever you need. What is easy, however, is starting to feel like you’re all alone in these situations. Whether its training, or some other thing in life, its much more easy to complain than, “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it,” as Colleen and Astrid would say.
But even more helpful than a pair of “Big girl panties,” today I got a friendly reminder of someone who’s always been there and always will be. It sounds silly but I realized my problem black and white: I was letting all of my business get the best of me, and was starting to be, “too busy for God.”
What? Too busy for God? How could I even write such a thing!? How could I ever let something so trivial as the Olympic Trials, and Nike come before…God?
…Hold on, back it up, did I really just call Nike and the Olympics “trivial?”
It’s conversations just like this that I’ve been having with myself the last few hours. An internal struggle of good vs bad, fate vs reality, dreams vs God’s will, and perhaps the line where they all come together.
So what exactly am I saying here? Well to be honest, I’m not quite sure but I promise I was getting somewhere with all of this. Regardless, it IS well beyond my bedtime, and so I’ll have to end with the dreaded, “To be continuted…”
I promise you that tomorrow’s post will be more optimistic. Remember, what goes up must come down, but the optimist will say that what falls down will get back up. So I promise to end on a note of optimism! Consider this part one of two, and please leave comments and let me know how you like my “keep it real” writing style. I could edit this stuff for another good 40 minutes, but alas, I am just too busy for that now. And so here it is, my latest update on how I’m going about running for Him and not running for a win.